Oh, Smiley Face, wherefore art thou? While former Consumer Protection Agency (CPA) head Atef “Smiley Face” Yakoub may be out, he’s definitely still with the CPA in spirit. Current head Rady Abdel Moaty appears to be recycling Smiley Face’s idea to reward “consumer friendly” business with a smiley face. Abdel Moaty’s idea? A certificate declaring the business “consumer friendly,” Al Mal reports. You would think they’d get more original. A wreath handed out by a hula girl? A lifetime’s supply of muffin tops (hello, Seinfeld)? A Hello Kitty sticker / coloring book? We’re not expecting Oprah, but they can certainly do better than that school in Suez that awarded its top performing middle schooler a … towel.

And for you, naughty business kids, a good, old-fashioned Maoist public denouncement. That’s right, Abdel Moaty took a step back for a good two seconds before realizing the certificates wouldn’t work. Not one to be deterred by a bad idea, he doubled down and wants to “publicly shame” business leaders the CPA considers not “consumer friendly” (because, you know, the free market took an extended nap). The scariest part? Abdel Moaty (who will henceforth be affectionately referred to as “Stickers”) appears to be serious. Mandatory education in the finer arts of Maoist self-criticism will surely be next.