The pressure to be a perfect parent is high on the first day of the year. If you’re anything like us, then your offspring’s arrival into the world has turned your annual plans to become a better human into resolutions to become a better parent. But after two years of juggling working and child-rearing amid a global health emergency, we’re all drained. We constantly want to do more for our kids, we’re perpetually exhausted, and we’re feeling more guilt than ever before.

What if we decide to let go of unrealistic pressure and set practical goals for our families? Let’s take it easy on ourselves this year and choose to maintain a sense of balance, keep our stress levels (and irritability) in check, and make each day a little easier.

Starting with one of the most-debated and most-judged parenting topics: Screen time. Do you find yourself concerned about the amount of time your kids are looking at screens? If you’re a modern-day parent, the answer is likely yes. You’ve probably heard of the global recommendations for limited screen time, and you’ve likely tried to implement them in your house. The result? Whining, meltdowns, fights between siblings, and flat-out refusal. Let’s face it, screens are unavoidable in today’s tech-driven world — whether it’s a Zoom class meeting, video games, social media, or an episode of Paw Patrol at 5 am so you can sleep for an extra 30 minutes.

Rule #1: We need to start with the principle of all principles — a child’s healthy development is most affected by his/her parent (you!) being a healthy, functioning human being. Parenting is not a one-size-fits-all scenario. Any suggestions, including those below, need to be considered through the filter of your life and situation. In other words, do what you need to do to get through the day.

Good news for parents: Digital devices don’t always result in a negative impact on our kids’ development. We can even argue that children who are tech-savvy will be better prepared for a workforce set to be predominantly digital, if not entirely set in the metaverse, and that educational TV content, like Sesame Street, has been shown to help improve behavior, literacy and cognitive skills for three- to five-year-olds.

Your realistic resolution: Focus on the quality, not the quantity, of your kids’ screen time. Help your kids establish a healthy relationship with tech by striking a balance between educational and recreational. So instead of fighting a lost battle with your kids and stomping around the house unplugging devices in frustration, guide them towards age-appropriate, educational content that transfers useful knowledge. Technology can be empowering for older kids too, with tools that help them express their creativity, and learn in engaging ways. If you’re ready to go the extra mile, focus on going screen-free in the times that children get the most benefits, like meal times (promotes healthier eating habits) and bedtime (instrumental for restoration).

Shift the focus: The key to helping your kids achieve a balanced relationship with tech actually starts with your own usage. We are constantly on our phone, logging late hours working, surfing social media, and binge-watching our favorite shows. Children are likely to copy our behavior. The ping of a message notification is hard to resist, and it draws in even the most strong-willed among us. We get that it’s difficult to pledge to cut down on phone usage (we’ve tried, and we’ve failed), but it may be easier to commit to going outside with your children more regularly. Being outdoors is good for the entire family, and the noise can drown out that irresistible ping.

And when in doubt? Refer to rule #1.