Business, politics and food, all rolled into one ta3meya sandwich and served with generous helpings of tahina: Zooba’s ta3meya crowned the best at the London Falafel Festival. Zooba’s “falafel” was crowned the winner of the London Falafel Festival on Sunday, the Guardian reported. Before continuing further, a point of clarification is required: We do not eat “falafel.” Falafels are for those who cannot, or will not, say ta3meya, in a similar vein to the following scene from the 1997 episode of the Simpsons: ‘The Twisted World of Marge Simpson’:

Helen Lovejoy: Hmm, Pita. Well, I don’t know about food from the Middle East. Isn’t that whole area a little iffy?
Fleet-a-Pita Saleswoman: Hey, I’m no geographer. You and I – why don’t we call it pocket bread, huh?
Maude Flanders (RIP): Umm, what’s tahini?
Fleet-a-Pita Saleswoman: Flavor sauce.
Edna Krabappel: And falafel?
Fleet-a-Pita Saleswoman: Crunch patties.
Helen Lovejoy: So we’d be selling foreign…
Fleet-a-Pita Saleswoman: Specialty foods.

This is Egypt and we eat ta3meya. We elbow, push, shove, and cut our way to the front of the line to eat ta3meya. We serve the best street food in the world, and we serve it with a scowl.

This brings us to the international controversy surrounding this story. With the region only recently starting to rebuild after the intergalactic hummus wars, whose specter was briefly revived by Israeli restaurant Pilpel coming in at second place at the London Ta3meya Festival, one would think that politics would otherwise not intrude into our lunch. However, as the Guardian noted, the Lebanese contestants were denied entry visas to the UK, prompting calls of foul play. The comments section on the Guardian piece is getting flooded with Lebanese nationalists insisting that their recipe, made from chickpeas as opposed to the Egyptian version made from fava bean paste, is the best, and that it was unfair they were unable to compete. While we would agree it was unfair the Lebanese were unable to compete, the Egyptian recipe is still the best, objectively speaking.

We urge Egyptians everywhere to show restraint and good sportsmanship by refraining from jumping into the comments war, as the last thing we need is misspelled anti-Lebanese sentiment expressed online by Egyptians. In conclusion: MASR.