How to kick your “um” habit to the curb: Verbal fillers like “um,” “ah,” or “so” are common in both our everyday vernacular and in high-stakes situations like job interviews or public speeches. We tend to stay away from allowing ourselves to take a (silent) moment to gather our thoughts for fear of appearing ill-prepared or just downright dumb. “In some cases, the phrases are used to signal that you are about to say something and that the person listening should not interrupt, or that you are going to say something you want to emphasize,” linguistics expert Emily Tucker Prud’hommeaux tells The New York Times’ Christopher Mele. It’s not quite fair to point the finger of blame solely at people under 30 whose speech is littered with “like” — people of all ages tend to use different fillers as verbal crutches. While there is a bit of a research gap on the fillers used by certain demographics, anecdotal evidence suggests that “‘like’ is used heavily by the younger generation, ‘so’ by those in their 30s and ‘uptick’ or ‘upspeak’ — ending a declarative sentence in such a way that it sounds like a question — by women in their 20s and 30s.”

So how can you stop using them? As with most other habits, the first step is realizing that this habit actually exists. One communications expert recommends recording yourself speaking and listening to the recording later on. She says that, by assessing your verbal behavior later on — when the immediate pressure of getting your point across succinctly is no longer there — you will be able to identify which habits you have adopted and just how annoying they actually are. From there, your awareness of the issue will likely translate into greater prudence and selectivity in your speech.